Friday, April 17, 2009

Don't Try This While Riding a Bike

After I finished last night's post, Milo, the boy-dog, "woofed" by the sliding glass doors, as any dog owner knows means "I want to go outside NOW!" I opened the door and was greeted with more snow. Again, the calendar read April 16. Come on already! It is mid-Derby season in Louisville, and I am quite sure my old cottage garden is filling out and all my girlfriends are breaking out the cutest sandals (none of them ride bikes to work - yet) and in Greenville, SC, my mom smugly relates to me in every phone conversation how her garden is bursting with life! Right now, the only thing I can see happening is my yard is that it is desperately in need of another poop patrol!

This morning we left the house (in the Element, which if you simply must have an SUV-like vehicle, you really couldn't do much better for the price) at 6 p.m. so we could get an early start at work. My work day would be short since I had a 7 a.m. dental procedure (it doesn't matter what since they are all equally traumatizing) that required a tranquilizer. I wish I were tougher but the time I had a similar procedure without the tranquilizer the procedure took hours. I experienced only a slight amount of discomfort this morning but simply didn't care. I don't recommend happy pills in place of coping skills but I highly recommend them for dental procedures any more invasive than a filling.

Unfortunately, by the time I walked back to the office ( Planner Guy dropped me off at 6:50 since driving myself would have been hazardous to everyone) I could barely walk a straight line. I wanted Bob to drive me home but he had meetings so I slept in the Quiet Room (they aren't just for elementary schools and psychiatric hospitals) for almost 2 hours. I thought that I'd sleep off the grogginess and go up stares and do some copying and filing. Upon waking me at noon, Planner Guy objected to this in every way:

"Did you go upstairs?", he inquired in an accusatory tone.

"No . . . . yes", I said.

"Did you talk to anyone?"

"I told Debra I was going to sleep this off and them come back and do some work".

"Absolutely not. Was anyone else up there? Did you talk to anyone else?" Planner Guy's face grew more and more ashen.

"No, nobody else was around. What's wrong?"

Eyeball roll. "You are a complete zombie! You do not need to be talking to anyone, answering e-mail, or being on the phone."

What he meant was that my filter might not be working at optimum efficiency.

Hustling me out of City Hall, I tried my best to maintain my straightest face. We passed Roger, who said hello to me and smiled. Did he know? We passed HR and Bob waved good-bye to Jennifer and called a loud "Thank you". That backstabber tattled on me to Bob.

"You are going home. You are staying there. Do not turn on the oven or use the stove. If you need to heat some water for tea then use the microwave (ooooh!). I don't want to come home and find you've passed out on the couch and left the gas on and burned the house down. And no riding your bike back to work. You're completely out of it and will get hit by a car."

So, at the moment, I am at home with the dogs. I think my cognitive processes are functioning pretty normally, although I am a bit sleepy and I've noticed NPR is a bit funnier today. I've been laughing a lot this past hour.

Happily, I can see the clouds and are giving way to sunny skies so my plan to visit Earth Day on my bike and accompanied by the camera appears to be a go. I will literally keep you posted.

Recent Sightings Around Town
Just a couple of bikes I've seen recently tied up downtown. I think they belong to someone who works in the neighboring business establishment. Both are sleek and no-nonsense and I like the colors.


Doohickie said...

That first one is an old Hercules, pre-1960 I think (based on the chain guard... when Raleigh bought Herc in 1960 they did away with the pointy chain guard unique to Hercules bicycles).

The Bronze Bombshell said...

I don't think that dentists or orthodontic surgeons give you sedatives for you're perceived fear/anxiety; I think it's standard. I got sedatives for having my wisdom teeth removed and I wasn't particularly worried about it.

My mom said that when she worked for the phone company back in the day, they had a quiet room. When I worked Ikea, we had a quiet room and believe me we needed it. Working in the customer service department was hellish. I worked with the kids which wasn't the problem, it was their parents. On top of that, the childcare workers had to regularly relieve the greeters for their breaks. People ask you the dumbest questions over and over and over again. I don't think that people use their brains when they shop; they must rely on some primitive, animal hunting instinct or something.

She Rides a Bike said...

Doohickie, thanks for your knowledge. Very impressive.

Bombshell, you totally crack me up. Retail really is hell. I suffered through nearly 2 years as an assistant manager at Limited Express. While I enjoyed helping out the woman trying to reconnect with her inner-French girl after years of hanging out with the kids in sweats, I hated waiting on the (true story)the aging ex-New York fashion model who frequented out store and had to use our store phone (pre-cell phone 1986)to call all her girls friends and tell them all to come down and buy the Italian driving gloves in 6 colors we had on sale because they were "just so important". Just one among a hundreds of superifical conversations that convinced me that graduate school would be worth any amount of debt.